slopped.siteThe Slopwright

Things with lids

The workshop

The Slopwright works in found containers. These are the pieces on the wall that came out of a tin, a cup, a pocket or a drawer: 44 of 242.

White envelopes grow among endless rows of lavender at twilight, opening like petals all the way to the horizon. Return to sender, eventually.Envelopes blooming in lavender twilightThe post is seasonal now. A walnut sits squeezed in a blue bench vice, fitted with a tiny brass hinge and latch like a jewellery box. Whatever's inside is not coming out without a warrant.A well-kept secretHinged, latched, clamped. At sunset, the surface of the sea folds into a stitched denim pocket holding a single old brass key. Check before you wash it.The sea has pocketsDenim, with a key in it. A dark plum on a lilac backdrop has a brass drawer handle fixed to its skin, the fruit opened like a drawer onto neatly folded white linen. The storage is excellent. The plum is confused.The unnecessary handlePull to open. Plum to unfold. In a crumbling, sunlit rehearsal hall, a ring of music stands faces a conductor's podium, each stand holding a conch shell instead of sheet music. The sea is playing tonight, from memory.The dry orchestraSeashells, first chair. A single spent match stands in a gold-rimmed saucer, its smoke rising and setting into a solid grey cube in mid-air. Some fires go out. This one went geometric.The last matchBurnt out, built up. Every colour drains out of a landscape painting on an easel and runs in neat rainbow streams back into the open paint tins on the studio floor. The painting is left in grey, considering its choices.The colour goes homeBack to the tins, please. An open black umbrella lies upside down in a sunbaked desert, filled to the brim with fossil ammonites. The forecast, eventually, was stone.A brief history of rainKept dry for a few million years. A ring of split oranges sits around a white teapot on a farmhouse table, each one opened like a mouth mid-sentence. The teapot has the floor.The orange committeeMotion carried, peel pending. A small hippo stands on four flowered china teacups against a peach backdrop, looking pleased with itself. The cups are holding up better than expected.A question of balanceFour cups, no saucers. An ornate brass coin purse lies open on green velvet, a long black velvet bar sliding out of it. Whatever it bought, nobody is saying.Hush moneyPaid in velvet. Two yellow rubber gloves polish a small glowing sun sitting in an egg cup on a breakfast table, while the real one rises through the window. Someone has to keep it shiny.Maintenance at dawnPolish before breakfast. A snail rests on dark wet rock, and tiny bolts of lightning glow inside its amber shell.Private weatherStorm in a shell. A pale green bowl shatters into pieces that arrange themselves in a perfect spiral above a dark stone floor.An orderly accidentBroken, beautifully. A tortoise plods along a red running track, trailing a long line of glassy copies of its shell around the bend behind it.Late for nothingPersonal best, pending. A silver thimble glows with ferns growing inside it, while a tiny gardener climbs a ladder to tend them.The thimble greenhouseFerns, under silver. A huge copper funnel stands on a cracked salt flat, its bowl full of the sunset, with a ladder and one tiny visitor.Last light at the funnelPouring the sunset. An antique chest in a dark room has one drawer open, and inside it is the surface of the moon with a full moon rising.Moonlight in the drawerSecond drawer down. An old leather suitcase on a station bench opens onto a snowy mountain with pine trees, a chalet and a cable car.A briefcase full of winterBusiness trip, ski season. A windswept tree on a stormy cliff is covered in striped umbrellas instead of leaves.The umbrella orchardGrown for the coast. A giant red radish floats over patchwork farmland at sunrise, a wicker basket hanging from its root.The radish airshipGrown locally, flown gently. A silver thimble becomes a glass greenhouse on a mossy rock, lit warm from inside among the lilies of the valley.The thimble conservatoryMind your fingers, mind the ferns. An olive tree in a sunny courtyard grows blue-and-white teacups instead of fruit.The porcelain orchardPick when blue. An open gold pocket watch holds a hurricane in place of a dial, its clouds turning over the gears on a velvet desk.Pocket weather bureauForecast: spiralling. A glass acorn in the snow holds a glowing autumn forest with a little waterfall. Keep it in the shell.Autumn under glassSeasons, sealed. A conch shell made into a telephone receiver floats over a pink salt lake at sunset, its coiled cord trailing down to the water.Shell serviceIt’s the sea calling. A velvet jewellery box opens onto a tiny basketball court, a game in full swing where the ring should be.Precious courtHome games only. An upturned umbrella on a wet cobbled street at night holds a whole starry sky, crescent moon and all.Under the starsRain cancelled. Night sky instead. An open brass pocket watch holds a railway roundhouse where the movement should be, steam engines lined up around the turntable.Right on timeEvery train accounted for. A red horseshoe magnet pulls a shoal of silver sardines up out of a bowl of water. Strong field, slightly fishy.School attractionFresh catch, no rod needed. An open wicker picnic basket on a hillside holds a whole hilltop village, with a bell tower, a piazza and a fountain.Packed villageEverything you need for a picnic. A single cloud hangs from a washing line by a wooden peg, high above a mountain valley. The laundry basket waits in the grass.Air dryPegged out with the washing. A green glass perfume bottle on a marble dresser holds a whole canal city: bridges, balconies, a bell tower and a gondola.Eau de canalTop notes of gondola. A giant golden thimble stands in a field of blue flowers at dusk, every hole glowing like a window. Someone is home.Sew many starsOpen late, lit from within. A rubber duck the size of a hot air balloon floats over a meadow, basket underneath, while real ducks watch from the grass.Quack of dawnRising with the birds. A glass snail carries a whole lit-up funfair in its shell, Ferris wheel and all, across a mossy wall at dusk.Slow amusementRides run at walking pace. Slower, actually. Milk spirals up out of a cereal bowl into a small galaxy, with cereal rings orbiting like planets. Breakfast is served at light speed.Milky Way breakfastPart of a balanced galaxy. A snowy mountain rises from the foam of a blue coffee cup, ski lift and chalet included. The steam doubles as cloud cover.Peak espressoSki in, sip out. An upside-down red umbrella sails across turquoise water as a little boat, handle up for a mast.Rain checkThe rain can wait. A cracked walnut on the breakfast table holds a whole wood-panelled library, with a spiral staircase and a reading chair.In a nutshellSmall library, big ideas. A blue matchbox stands open on a salt flat, holding a small pine forest and a winding path. Strike carefully.Into the matchwoodsKeep away from naked flames. A giant conch on the beach opens onto a spiral staircase and a warm, lit doorway. Surprisingly roomy for a shell.Shell accommodationSea views from every room. A honey-bear bottle stands in for the lighthouse on a rocky point at dusk. Ships arrive slightly sticky.Sweet beaconGuiding ships home, one drop at a time. A tin peeled open on a tiny Japanese garden: bonsai, stepping stones, a bridge and two koi. Best before never.Canned serenityZen garden, packed in water.

On the bench

Tweezers
For houses, islands and anything smaller than a thought
Glue
For the parts physics won’t hold
The lamp
Always on. Nobody has found the switch.
A glass manta ray
Company. It doesn’t say much.
Tins
Sardine, mostly. He has opinions about anchovy tins.